Talk and Listen to Every Older Black Man Past Fifty That You Possibly Can

My Uncle Celebrating his 72nd Birthday

  In Letter Eighteen of his book "Letters To Young Black Men, Advice and Encouragement for a Difficult Journey,"  Daniel Whyte III advises young black men to "Talk and Listen to Every Older Black Man Past Fifty That You Possibly Can."  

 I have been both blessed and fortunate that throughout my life their have been several older men who have taken the time and interest to talk to me and share some of the life lessons that they have learned, and I have been equally blessed and fortunate that at those times I had been at a point and position in life that I actually valued what they had to say and I earnestly listened to what they had to say to me.

Somewhere along the line however after moving around and relocating and getting caught up in being successful, I failed to notice that there were very few older men around me to share with me and help me to establish a broader picture of life.  I didn't realize that it was a missing piece until several years ago when my father called me and asked me to move back home and help him out.

  Unfortunately my father passed away before I had a real chance to sit and just talk with him.  After his passing however I had the opportunity to sit and talk with several of my uncles, who have taken the time and share some of their history and experiences with me.  After sitting and talking with them, I began to understand a lot about myself and my father. 

Months after my father passed I found myself back in the groove of working and providing, so much so that I actually neglected to make or take the time to spend with my uncle(s) and learn from them.  Once again I was oblivious to my need to do such a thing until this past week when I received an invite to my uncle's 72nd Birthday Party!

Once I arrived at the party and had time to sit and talk with my uncle I was both pleased and convicted.  Pleased that I was able to hear and learn more from him, convicted because I realized that I had allowed a lot of missed opportunities to spend time with him.  I tried to spend as much time with him as possible...so much so that one of my cousins accused me of monopolizing all of my uncle's time.

 In just the short time I spent with him I felt that I had learned a lot.  I realize that it is important for me to both take and make the time to sit and learn from those who are older than me.  I must take the time to:

• Ask intelligent questions and then wait and listen to the answers.

• Not Delude or trick myself into thinking that I know it all already.

• Spend more time with older wiser men.

• Recognize the people that God has placed in my circle and take advantage of them being there. 

  After spending time with my uncle this weekend, one thing is clear to me.  It is important that I spend time with the older wiser men in my circle and I need to continually surround myself with people who are wiser than me, who care about me and are willing to share their knowledge with me.  It is also clear to me that this kind of thinking takes energy and effort, and that even though I am aware that it is important for me to remember this....the truth is that...

sometimes I forget...